To feel my anger, I have to allow myself to truly experience the emotion:
After years of not feeling our emotions what happens?
Before I learned to feel my anger, I was trying become more enlightened, and a better person by not getting angry. Instead I said things I didn’t mean to say. And my emotions leaked out when I least expected. Sometimes, I said the exact opposite of what I wanted to say. And worse yet, sometimes I said things I didn’t even remember.
I was downright cruel at times.
How I learned to feel my anger when it came to me:
I see that I did this because I didn’t feel my anger and it came out sideways; it leaked out unexpectedly. And it would lead out at people I wasn’t angry with and at people who were emotionally unprepared for it. So, trying to protect others from your anger will often backfire. You might find yourself blowing up and feeling more like a volcano than the sweet loving person your are trying to make yourself into. I have had to accept that I am not and will never be the sweet person I wanted to be. Instead I am me. Sweet sometimes, angry sometimes.
As you begin feeling your emotions, they may be over the top at first. You will be surprised how many people are actually relieved for you to be yourself. If you feel you are over the top and frighten people, check in with them. Ask how was it for them. Apologize if you need and do not let your mind keep going over and over the expression of yourself. The mind will do anything to try to stop you from feeling because it loses control when you are feeling. But this is the reason it is so important, because the emotions are from our creator but our mind only speaks from fear. When I feel my anger, I know the creator is saying something to me.
Be assured that as you express yourself, your emotions will become more balanced. Once you let the backed up emotions flow, the backup of stored emotions will flow out. Then, the emotions will be balanced, and will match the situation you are in. Another benefit when I feel my anger is that I am able to set a boundary with others.
When someone violates your boundary or steps on your toes, the natural response is anger. By feeling your anger, you naturally set a boundary. The only way to stop someone who alway steps on you is to respond with the same amount of energy that they came at you with.
How do you know what that amount is?
There is only one way: by feeling your emotional response. You must allow yourself to feel anger to feel their energy. Then you will respond with the same amount of energy. If you respond with less energy that they came at you with, they will continue to push at you. If you respond with more energy than they did, the Universe will come around at you in some other way.