Easter is Sunday, March 31, this year.
Last Easter, I had a relapse. Wellbutrin caused mental confusion; I got lost on a simple, route I know to a friend’s house. Her cell phone directions didn’t compute. I missed most of the dinner, after plans to come early and help set up and to give her a special hostess gift. My friend and her family graciously invited me in late.
- How I went from despondent to reborn?
- How I Forgave my Mom (God inspired)
- Karol’s patience with me, encouragement to grow, growth she’s shown over 2 years
- Positive friends who showed me I didn’t want to stay “stuck”st
- Realizing I’d hurt others if I suicided
- Realizing I want to be known and remembered as a person who lives in the present, not the past.
- How embracing Easter 2013 could help me focus on Easter in a new way: not as a PTSD trigger, but as a chance to focus on God and all He’s done for me, a chance to witness that, a chance to reflect on personal growth completed and in progress, to look forward to spring and a new chapter in my life
Almost a year — and a few growing pains — later, I’m happily embracing the future. Maybe I’ll never completely heal from the past. However, I’ve released Mom (and others) from the debts they owed me.
That means releasing my right to a fair outcome, and hopes I’d had for certain family relationships. That was easier said than done when that was so unfair.
How did I do it? Not alone.
First, God made it possible to forgive Mom (see previous blog, “How Forgiveness Can Help You Heal”).
Second, positive, strong-minded friends mentored me in an area where I was weak — resiliency. I’ve always been hypersensitive. But I came to realize after awhile that I’d struggled for longer than what most others would consider healthy.
My friend,the Easter party host, tried repeatedly to tell me this, but her inspiration came through her example. Two years ago, she served six months in prison failing to go to alcohol treatment,a misdemeanor.. That was unfair.
So was her struggle to regain employment afterward. She’s seen traumatic things in her family, too. She also survived her best friend’s suicide years ago.
Now, she’s a manager at her day job as a medical transcriptionist, and an AA group facilitator at the local jail. She’s co-chairing the local VFW silent fundraising auction for the local vets’ home, so they can grant wishes to terminally ill clients.
Not so long ago, though, we were in a bitter rift. She told me she was sick of me being suicidal every time I got hurt. Eventually, I realized she’d made her point. I *didn’t* want to be known as “suicide Sally” — the big drama queen who bought everyone down.
How can forgiving some unfairness improve your life?